The Dating Subculture Pt 1: The Story so Far

Dating subculture started about six months ago for me. I had spent the six months prior doing the ‘find yourself’ thing outside of a relationship, in particular the one I came from which was on and off for seven years. I approached online dating as this brave new world in which my accessories were ready to pair with my outfits I was not going to die alone and I was ready to start this shiny new blog.

Then just imagine a train wreck. Good, bad, everything inbetween, there was so much insanity going on followed by something that got kinda serious and then more insanity, I just never got pen to paper. So now, we backtrack:

There was “A”, who I vibed really well with, our texting was great we talked maybe three days and our date was that I drove us around his neighborhood and we talked. He had the swagger of a serial killer and smelled like he hadn’t washed his clothes in five millenia. THANKFULLY I told him at the beginning of the date that my boundaries were no kissing and only to hang out for an hour then we’d decide if we liked each other after so there were no hard feelings if it hadn’t worked out. Well in the end he went for a kiss and it was slimy and awful and you’d have thought I’d have given up on dating but instead I MOVED FORWARD BRAVELY.

Got back online and met “B” who kissed me not two seconds after I walked in the door to his apartment with a bottle of wine and with picture perfect makeup on. SUPER chemistry which all got ruined the next day when he told me he was still dating around and hadn’t decided anything yet…

“C” and I hit it off right away and had three really intense dates in a row. After that things were slower but not ‘slow enough’ according to “C” who said that he needed to take a test to advance his career and there was a deadline in which I was becoming a “distraction” from him taking and was promptly broken up with.

(mind you inbetween each of these guys is days of hunting on searches and refreshing pages to find people to talk to and sort through because interactions can either succeed or fail very quickly so it’s not uncommon to have an inbox like a lobby)

“D” seemed to be really into me and went on 3 dates then said I was moving at a pace too fast for him. We still sometimes play video games together.

“E” swept me off my feet and even though our relationship ended up being just a month it was amazing and I miss him. He ended things because he’s, “too busy”.

“F” was a catastrophe date. He kissed with so much tongue I had to block my gag reflex with my tongue, he smelled as bad as “A” maybe a bit better…and though he wasn’t the guy for me I told him the next morning I didn’t think we had the chemistry I wanted us to have in person (this is THE KINDEST WAY I CAN TELL SOMEONE I DON’T LIKE THEM) and he was fine with it. Then the next morning I get a text from his wife. Turns out he cheated on his wife with me and let me tell ya it doesn’t get more awkward than someone asking if you were at their house the other night.

“G” counts because he was iconic. That was today’s date. I was stood up! Thankfully I used radical acceptance to say “I accept this guy didn’t show and it wasn’t a catastrophe.” then I did what anyone would do to mourn the loss of the couple hours of energy sapped from me and got a mexican pizza from Taco Bell and a half chocolate half Shamrock shake from McDonalds. Then I drove around to self soothe and returned to my inbox on POF and OKCupid.

Tonight, WE FISH!